I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
