question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
