I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
