So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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