Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
