so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
