carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
