And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
