Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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