it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
