i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize