I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
