Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
