yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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