it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
