I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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