she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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