If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
