he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
