I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
