Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
