I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize