Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
