that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
