All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
