a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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