Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
