I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
