I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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