I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize