People in love make me want to vomit
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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