I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
