Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
