I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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