If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
