FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
