Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
