i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
