It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
