You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just pynch a tree in the face
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.