My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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