When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
