I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
