it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize