She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
