you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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