I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
