Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
