he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
