1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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