Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
