he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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