If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is Oprah even human
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
