8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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