Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
