Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
