The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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