I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize