carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
