So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
