my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
