Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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