Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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