shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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